I just pynch a tree in the face
I can text with my tongue
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
