i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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