dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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