woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
