are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
