Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
