I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
