i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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