So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
