So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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