physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
