dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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