You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
