dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
