He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
