need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
