and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
