we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
nutella sex= disaster
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
