I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
