This girl is more easily done than said...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
