??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
