I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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