i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
