dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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