I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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