The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Someone came in the potted fern
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Who died my cat blue again?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
