if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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