why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I wear drunk well.
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