there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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