last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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