first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
