please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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