I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
