They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
