they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
