Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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