i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
