I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We are all done wearing pants today
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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