i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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