If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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