it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
