summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
