Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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