So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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