I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My feet surprised me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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