It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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