he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
