He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
