Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
