I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My bed smells like the plague
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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